UNDERSTANDING YOUR EMOTIONS
Emotions are functional— which means that they serve a purpose. Even difficult emotions, that occur in distress and crisis, are essential to surviving and thriving in the world. However, emotions are not only about survival, but they are also critical to helping us be productive members of a society, a family, a romantic relationship, a friendship, a classroom, or an office. Emotions make our experiences and associated actions seem meaningful. In this way, they are tied closely to what we want to accomplish and what we hope to avoid in our lives.
FEAR
Information message: Protect from immediate harm or danger
Related terms: Scared, dread, fright, panicked, uneasy
Subjective feelings: “I feel threatened by [someone, something]”, “I can’t handle this situation”, “This reminds me of another time I was hurt”, “I am going to fail”, “[S/he] wants to leave me”
Body experience: Sweating, feeling jittery, shaking, choking sensation, lump in the throat, breathlessness, abdominal distress
Actions and expressions: Rapid speaking, shaky voice, crying, screaming, running away, seeking shelter, speechless, frozen
ANXIETY
Information message: Prevent future harm or danger
Related terms: Nervous, apprehensive, worried, dreading, overwhelmed, tense, stressed
Subjective Feelings: “I could be in a lot of trouble if…” “What if [something bad] happens…” “If I don’t do well on this, I will be [fired/kicked out]”, “I will not be able to survive if [s/he] decided to leave me”, “I need to prepare for the worst”
Body experience: Tension in muscles (neck, head, back, jaw), restlessness, feeling tired, inability to rest or sleep, difficulty concentrating, keyed up or on edge, chronic headaches, gastrointestinal discomfort
Actions and expressions: Avoiding reminders of anxiety-provoking things/people, seeking reassurance from others that you are going to be ok, rapid talking
DISGUST
Information message: Withdraw from an intolerable someone or something
Related terms: Appalled, contemptuous, sickened, distanced, noxious
Subjective feelings: “Get me away from this [person/thing]”, “I can’t stand to be around [her/him] anymore”, “I hate the way [s/he] does that”, “The thought of it makes me sick”
Body experience: Queasiness, stomach aches, numb in hands and feet
Actions and expressions: Push away [offending person/object], avoid contact with [offending person/object], speak negatively about [offending person/object], expressing discontent on face
ANGER
Information message: Respond to an injustice or transgression against you
Related terms: Irritated, hostile, furious, annoyed, bitter, frustrated, grumpy, scornful, offended
Subjective feelings: “I can’t believe [s/he] did that”, “How could [s/he] say that about me?” “I can’t believe I would be disregarded that way”, “I can’t believe they would pass me up for the promotion”, “[S/he] violated my trust and didn’t even consider my feelings”
Body experience: Face flushing, general feeling of tightness or rigidity, teeth clamping/mouth tightening, wound up/feel like you will explode out of your body.
Actions and expressions: Wanting to strike [someone/something], verbally attacking [someone], cursing, yelling, clenching your hands and fists, complaining, brooding or withdrawing
SADNESS
Information message: Acknowledge an important loss or an unreachable goal–allowing for disengagement, and conservation of energy
Related terms: Despair, hurt, down, agonized, defeated, glum, hopeless, alienated, sorrow, unhappy
Subjective feelings": “I feel lost”, “I will never have [possession/relationship] again”, “I can’t believe it’s over”, “I failed”, “This is not how I thought things would turn out”, “There’s no hope”
Body experience: Empty or pit feeling in stomach, crying, difficulty swallowing, arms and legs feel heavy, tired, loss of concentration, loss of breath, dizzy
Actions and expressions:Absence of ability to act including low energy/feeling lethargic/slow movements/loss of interest or motivation to socialize/work, frowning, talking less or slower
SHAME
Information message:Recognize one has violated social norms/mores
Related terms:Humiliated, embarrassed, contrite, guilty, regretful
Subjective feelings: “I cannot believe I said that”, “I really hurt that person when I said that”, “I am not like others”, “I don’t know how to act around my coworkers”, “I am a bad person”, “I have not met other’s expectations”
Body experience: Crying, blushing, jittery, pit in stomach, difficulty speaking, choking sensation
Actions and expressions: Hiding, escaping the presence of others, attempting to repair possible harm, apologizing, looking at the floor, slumping
JOY
Information message: Gaining something that you prize
Related terms: Happy, exhilaration, amusement
Subjective feelings: “I feel great”, “I am so happy this happened”, “its so good to see you again!”
Body experience: Authentic smile (“smiling with eyes”)
Actions and expressions: Increased willingness to approach, being active, urge to play and be playful
INTEREST
Information message: Increasing attention to potential reward
Related terms: Curiosity, intrigue, excitement, wonder
Subjective feelings: “I am curious about that”, “I’d like to pursue that interest”, “I am excited to find out what will happen”
Body experience: Feeling animated or alive, butterflies in stomach
Actions and expressions: Attending to, orienting towards, exploring one’s world, expanding actions
CONTENTMENT
Information message: Increasing attention to potential reward
Related terms: Curiosity, intrigue, excitement, wonder
Subjective feelings: “I am curious about that”, “I’d like to pursue that interest”, “I am excited to find out what will happen”
Body experience: Feeling animated or alive, butterflies in stomach
Actions and expressions: Attending to, orienting towards, exploring one’s world, expanding actions
EXCITEMENT
Information message: Happily or enthusiastically anticipating or seeking a new or known sensation or experience.
Related terms: Enthusiasm, anticipation, fascination, eagerness
Subjective feelings reflecting excitement: “I can’t wait for…” “I’m looking forward to…” “I wonder how … will turn out” “…is going to be great!”
Body experience of excitement: Feeling like heart is racing, having sweaty palms, tingling in your belly
Actions and expressions resulting from excitement: Increased attention to or desire to engage with a situation or experience, rapid speaking, more impulsive decision making