MINDFUL PERSPECTIVE-TAKING & THE REFRAMING SKILL
In Module 6, we introduced the last of the mindful regulation skills, the mindful perspective taking skill of reframing. Just like the other skills, this final skill further builds upon the skills you’ve learned so far. Like Distancing, Reframing is meant to help you relate—in a new way—to the negative thoughts that arise in your mind.
REFRAMING
Reframing represents a deliberate effort to change the way we view our emotional experience, which then shifts how we feel about the situation at hand. In this way, reframing is an antidote to reactive responses like worry, rumination, and self-criticism. Practicing reframing bolsters our ability to reconsider our interpretations of our emotions and the events in our lives.
In the face of strong safety pulls or when we are in the midst of reactive responding, it is important to remind ourselves of our own strength and to “soften” the fearful and self-critical thoughts that pop up in our minds. The reframing practice invites us to take a courageous and compassionate perspective, as a way of responding to—or “speaking back”—to the distressing moments in our lives.
For example, a courageous perspective might indicate, “I am capable of getting through this moment” or “I can take this action.”
To gain a compassionate perspective, we can recall a time when a friend or loved one offered us reminders of our capabilities with strength, kindness, and understanding, when we were feeling deflated and defeated.
The goal of reframing is to notice and soften the harshness of these fearful and self-critical thoughts when they arise by invoking alternative, self-validating statements—in difficult moments, these reframing statements remind ourselves of our strength and our ability to cope, diminishing the likelihood of continued reactive responding and negative self-talk.
IN-THE-MOMENT REFRAMING
In-the-moment reframing involves “speaking back” to your worries, rumination, and self- criticism, when you encounter an emotional moment. The courageous and compassionate reframes you generated as part of the Courageous and Compassionate Statements exercise may offer potential ideas for in-the-moment reframing. Further, these statements can be added to the in-the-moment distancing skill introduced in the last module.
For example, you might imagine a courageous or compassionate person speaking to the branches of your tree. You could also “throw on the wall” a courageous or compassionate reframe alongside the worried and self-critical voices. Alternatively, you may choose to “bring a reframe with you,” on your keys or write a reframing statement on a business card to carry with you throughout the day, tapping on it to remind you of its meaning. Notice that reframing is the only in-the-moment skill where you are adding an experience, rather than observing, allowing, and gaining distance from experiences that are already present - but courageous and compassionate reframes are mostly useful when you bring them into your mind’s eye along with these other parts of your experience, rather than trying to use them to remove or replace those other parts (Remember, Allowing!).
IN-THE-MOMENT SKILL REVIEW (MINDFUL ATTENTION + PERSPECTIVE-TAKING)
You’ve now learned all four of the iERT mindful regulation skills: Observing, Allowing, Distancing, Reframing. It may be helpful to remember the order of these skills using the acronym M-OADR (pronounced “motor”). Remember, you are encouraged to use as many skills as needed—in this particular order—to gain clarity for action.
MINDFUL ATTENTION
STEP 1 OBSERVE (i.e., BREATHE AND NOTICE): To implement the observing skill, we breathe and notice our bodily sensations, sights and sounds near - and far - and then bring attention back to our breath.
STEP 2 ALLOW (i.e., PAUSE): Should observing not be sufficient, or if we find it difficult to remain in contact with a distressing experience, allowing can help us to face pain rather than trying to fight it. To implement the allowing skill, we can say the word “pause” or “allow.”
MINDFUL PERSPECTIVE TAKING
STEP 3 DISTANCE (i.e., GAIN PERSPECTIVE): The next step involves gaining distance in time and space. As we’ve discussed during this module, this could include “invoking the tree,” “traveling in the car,” or “bringing it with you metaphor” - or use your own metaphor!
STEP 4 REFRAME (i.e., SPEAK BACK): If it is difficult to keep a distanced perspective, we can bring to mind a reframing statement—to remind ourselves of our strength and to “soften” our self-judgments—to shift the way we feel about the situation or our experience.
STEP 4 TAKE ACTION (i.e., RESPOND COUNTERACTIVELY): The iERT in-the-moment skills are meant to help us gain emotional clarity and make the best decision about action (i.e., respond counteractively). From a perspective where you can clearly hear the motivational messages, you can decide which action you want to take.
