MINDFUL ATTENTION & THE ALLOWING SKILL

ALLOWING

In Module 5, we introduced the second and final mindful attention regulation skill, which we refer to as allowing, as the next step in promoting mindful attention. Remember, the goal of mindful attention is to help achieve focused, flexible and sustained attention on emotional and motivational experiences. Observing, the skill you were taught in Module 3, helps you stay in the present moment bringing your attention to your body and breath. Allowing builds on observing by helping you sustain our attention on all parts of our experience, even when some aspects of our experience feel like they are in conflict, and when focusing on some of those parts might be emotional and we feel the urge to disengage or “look away.”

 All of us encounter situations in our daily lives that bring up powerful emotions—worrying about an upcoming exam, feeling uncertain about our financial situation, being turned down from a job or by someone we ask on a date.  The desire to escape or eliminate painful emotions is deeply human. Allowing does not mean we have to like or want our emotions. Rather, allowing involves attending to- and embracing all our emotions and sensations despite how intense they feel and whether they are positive or negative.

We think of allowing as an action, rather than as an attitude or an intention. When we engage in allowing, we are sustaining our attention on what’s here now…even if it is intense and unpleasant. Allowing helps us remain in contact with ALL aspects of our emotional experience, even when they signal strong motivations that might feel conflicting, or cloudy or confusing.

IN-THE-MOMENT ALLOWING

In-the-moment allowing involves sustaining your attention on all aspects of your emotional experience. One way to utilize in-the-moment allowing is to say the word, “Pause” or “Allow” in response to the emotions you’ve been observing. You could also imagine pressing the pause button on your DVR or recall the image of the bunny and beautiful scene or the orchestra metaphor and seeing the whole picture. As with the observing skill, we encourage you to find personalized ways to practice in-the-moment allowing—a rotten egg in a perfume shop! Whatever metaphor suits you, in-the-moment allowing should help you sustain contact with intense or conflicting emotions and motivations. 

IN-THE-MOMENT SKILL REVIEW (OBSERVING + ALLOWING)

You’ve now learned both mindful attention skills, observing and allowing. ​​If, after using the in-the-moment observing skill, you have difficulty gaining emotional clarity and taking effective action, adding the in-the-moment allowing skill may be of help! In this particular order, you are encouraged to use as many skills as necessary, to gain clarity for action.

MINDFUL ATTENTION

STEP 1 OBSERVE (i.e., BREATHE AND NOTICE): To implement the observing skill, we breathe and notice our bodily sensations, sights and sounds near - and far - and then bring attention back to our breath.

STEP 2 ALLOW (i.e., PAUSE): Should observing not be sufficient, or if we find it difficult to remain in contact with a distressing experience, allowing can help us to face pain rather than trying to fight it. To implement the allowing skill, we can say the word “pause” or “allow.”

STEP 3 TAKE ACTION (i.e., RESPOND COUNTERACTIVELY): The iART in-the-moment skills are meant to help us gain emotional clarity and make the best decision about action (i.e., respond counteractively). From a perspective where you can clearly hear the motivational messages, you can decide which action you want to take. 

At first, it may be difficult to successfully use the in-the-moment skills, but this will get easier! The more we practice the mindful regulation skills, the more effective we will be in using them in-the-moment, in emotionally intense or challenging situations.